mkizer posted on August 11, 2008 14:32
OK, I'm going to rant a little bit about something that hardly anyone complains about... the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Note: Your sarcasm detector should already be pegged at this point, so you might as well shut it off. 
So, my task for the day was to pop over to the DMV at lunch time to register a trailer. It's just a little 4'x8' foldable trailer from Harbor Freight, that I'll use for Home Depot runs and other household tasks. It should be a fairly painless process...or so one would imagine. I even did my due diligence by attempting to gather and complete the correct forms, and schedule my appointment in advance from the California DMV website. Locating the forms was fairly intuitive, but determining the correct ones to use was a bit of a challenge. The DMV really needs some kind of decision tree software on their site to help you pick the correct forms for your situation (something along the lines of TurboTax... answer a few questions and it tells you what forms to use). I picked the forms that seemed to make the most sense for registering a trailer, gathered all of the information that I could think of, and set off to my appointment.
I arrive on time for my 11:20am appointment, start at the Start Here desk and get handed a number. Even though it is an appointment, it's really just a "move to the top of the queue" with all of the other appointment holders. The wait was short (about 10 minutes) and probably made the other eighty or so people still waiting to be called a bit jealous. It looked like I might be in for a pleasant surprise... maybe the DMV has cleaned up their act and the old stereotypes no longer apply?
Bzzzt! Wrong answer! When I approached desk number 14 for my appointment, it appeared that I might be OK, as things got started off friendly enough. "What can I help you with?", asked the clerk. "I'd like to register a trailer. Here is all of my paperwork, but I'm not certain if I have the correct forms or not." I reply, as I hand over my neatly filled in (editable PDF forms really save people from having to decipher my handwriting). The friendly exchange quickly turned into a snappy interrogation. Where did you get this trailer? What? You assembled it from a kit? Why it the title paperwork damaged? It came in the box that way? Are you sure? Ugh... These are not the correct forms at all. You'll need to fill out this, and this. Is the trailer here, we have to look at it? No? Well, you'll have to come back another time with ALL of the CORRECT forms filled out, and the trailer ready for us to inspect. That'll be thirty sev... (couldn't make out the rest of what she blurted at me since she was walking away mid sentence to gather something from the printer...turns out it was $37 for the cost of registration). When she returns to the desk I hand over my check and receive a stack of new forms to complete (ugh, paper forms...guess I'll have to try to print neatly) and bring with me on my return trip.
It's a little hard to convey in writing the snippy tone, rolling of eyes and sighs in between questions, but I'm sure at least one of you has received similar treatment at the DMV. I had to chuckle a bit (internally of course) as I thought about Gladys from the TV show Reaper (a demon working at the DMV, a.k.a. a portal to hell). Sorry if I don't know your arcane procedures and forms by heart, I only need to do this once in a blue moon. I'm sure that you handle dozens upon dozens of similar requests throughout the day and get tired of the same old questions. Well, it is your job after all, so if you really dislike it that much perhaps you should quit (or at work in a non-customer facing capacity). If I treated my customers like that, I'd be stuck in line at a different government agency trying to get my unemployment check. 
So, now it is time to schedule yet another appointment and fill out my new set of forms. Perhaps this time I'll be successful, or at least wind up in a line that is not manned by devil spawn.
Footnote: OK, before I get score of comments from grumpy DMV workers (redundant?) everywhere, I'm sure that not all of you are grumpy and seemingly dread your job. There are probably even some very friendly and extra helpful DMVers out there... somewhere... perhaps... 